I guess we're going through a hard time right now. it's helpful for me to recognize and admit this because it means that this is a phase, and phases don't last forever. this isn't just how life is going to be now, and that's hopeful.
the business has been, shall we say, struggling. we lost our only big client a few months ago and have been through lots of events since then that have led to having nowhere near enough income, either for the business or personally. late bills all around. and discouragement. and anxiety. and we're only driving one car to avoid getting more tickets on expired registration on the other car. so i stay home. alllllways at home.
atticus got sick a couple of weeks ago, and even though i tried so hard to keep olive well, she's had a stuffy nose for a week and a half. having a 2 year old and a newborn isn't exactly a walk in the park, but when they're sick, it's mommy-break-down-time. add to that the fact that atticus has rarely slept through the night since the arrival of olive disrupted his life, and the fact that david always takes care of his night wakings (thank you!) and always falls asleep doing so (shoot), and it means that i take care of nasal spray, nose suction, nursing, diaper changing, diaper blowout, fit from said nose suction, etc. every night alone.
so many people have offered to help us through this time, and i'm extremely grateful because it means i don't feel so alone. but there is not much anyone else can really do. babysitting atticus seems to disrupt him more, whether it's just more insecurity, a missed nap, catching a cold, or not being able to eat while he's somewhere new.
oh, and our washing machine broke (but our friends lent us one!). and all of the light switches in our house are calling it quits, one by one. and atticus's birthday is on thursday. and our children are wearing highwaters. someday, we'll look back at all this and laugh... i think...
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