"mommy!" he said. it's weird to me to be recognized as mommy. i don't particularly like having my picture taken (even though becky is the master at un-awkwarding me); looking at them is the perfect opportunity to be critical of myself. atticus reminded me that my kids don't see what i see when i look at myself. he doesn't see too many freckles or crooked teeth, he sees mommy. olive doesn't see bad hair days or when i'm wearing no makeup. to her, i'm nourishment, care, company and entertainment. her tummy hurts tonight. as i stand and rock her and pace and watch her face, i wonder if she'll be a mommy someday. i hope so. i want her to love someone like i love her.
on an unrelated note, i had an epiphany tonight: daddies are not like mommies. dude. whoa.
david was trying to get atticus ready for bed, and was maybe a little less coaxing and patient than i would have been, although not unkind. it still had to be a conscious decision for me to not interfere. i want to always make things easy and happy for my children, and i'm glad to have someone who is different from me helping raise them. life is not always easy or happy, and that's probably a good lesson to learn from a father. i do want atticus to learn to be strong. a wise woman once told me that husbands and fathers don't get to stay "down" for very long; they have to keep living life and working for their families no matter what. even when they're sad. another (also wise) woman once said never to interfere when your husband is teaching your boy to be a man. i hope that i can follow her advice, but still discuss my own thoughts and opinions with david at appropriate times.
so here's some favorites.
pictures, i mean.
muscles.
atticus was due for a nap about an hour ago. obviously.
i love baby hands.
i also love her swirly hair.
the end.
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