tantrums

This is a great article, especially the end.

http://mothering.com/parenting/a-fresh-approach-to-tantrums?page=0,0

I've wondered a lot about the line between punishing bad behavior and teaching healthy expression of emotions. It seems especially complicated since we're raising a little man. Men are "supposed to be" rough and tough, and even a baby or toddler that cries often is seen as weak in our culture. Call me crazy, but I think that's a problem. It is already more natural and easy for women to express themselves and communicate, so why do we add more trouble for men through our tough-guy expectations? I hope that my boy will grow up with an ability to have a wonderful marriage relationship in which he is able to be heard and respected and to know and understand his wife the way women long to be known. If I can help him get there, I will. And marriage definitely isn't the only area in his life that will benefit from healthy self-expression. It seems that business life is often complicated and unnecessarily difficult because of egos, or lack thereof. I want my boy to know that he has lots to offer and nothing to prove.

And if his finger needs a kiss when he bumps it, I'm sooo there.

Tuesday baby brain

Every day before I put Atticus down for his nap, I (33 weeks pregnant) hold my big almost-2-year-old boy like a little baby and rock him back and forth and sing rockabye baby to him. He goes limp in my arms and just watches my face. Awwwww.

I can not stay out of the kitchen today. I gained 4 pounds in the last 10 days (finally!), and I'm sooo hungry! This is very good news!

I've been struggling with feeling very anxious about this birth. People like to say that giving birth is as energy-consuming as running a marathon, and for most of this pregnancy I've been too weak and tired to get off the couch. BUT I finally discovered the secret to being able to sleep at night is getting exercise every day. I usually do just 15 minutes of yoga or pilates at night, and it's helping me believe in my body's ability to have this baby without having to be sliced open!

My friends gave me an amazing baby shower over the weekend. They held it at my favorite coffee shop and decorated it beautifully with tutus and ballerinas, since that's my nursery theme. They also took tons of pictures, since they know I'm camera deficient. It means so much to me to have friends who know me so well and care about making a shower special for me.

This was 31 weeks!

Peaceful

We're having a quiet morning. Atticus played with the laundry and then the basket in my room for a long time this morning while I dozed. I really should have gotten out of bed, but hey. I'm 31 weeks pregnant. Then he played the piano for awhile, and now he is shaking drops of water out of his sippy cup and cleaning the table with a paper towel. Sometimes I wonder what he thinks about so seriously in that little head. I almost feel like I'm intruding just by watching him. He is just as captivating to me in his quiet moments as in his loud ones.

And that's a good thing, because he just started a dance party. Quiet time is officially over.

pretty cool.

i was just contemplating making my ancient private blog public, and logged on to further consider the possibility only to find that my account has been deleted. i guess that answers that question. i've definitely changed in the seven or so years since i started it, and maybe it didn't accurately represent me anymore, but i'm a little sad to lose it. hohum.

this blog will still be more of a journal than anything else, and most likely very ramble-y and introspective, so if you don't care, don't read! :)

lots of times since i became pregnant the first time, i've thought about the loss of... street cred? dignity? ...mass appeal? (as if i ever had it. ha!) that pregnancy, childbirth, and mothering seems to bring with it. it's hard to dress like a gangsta with a basketball under your shirt, i never thought ANYONE would see me as i was during atticus' birth, and consistently wearing spit-up and/or messy fingerprints is pretty rad. and then there's the fact that i know now every single word to every song on walt disney's pandora station, and pretty much nothing about current music of any other genre.

before:

after:

which brings me to today. i took my boy through a drive-thru to get myself some coffee, and then another drive-thru to get some mexican food (no, you can't really call it that). then we came home, sat on the couch, and listened to my music. and he leaned on me and he ate his burrito and bobbed his head to the music and talked about superman. and i sat and thought about what a cool kid i have.