i don't know how or why, but over the last couple of weeks i've felt the ol' PPD lifting, and tonight, i suddenly feel alive, and Hello World! it's nice to see you. suddenly i can do this mothering thing, and i can leave my babies for a few hours and come back so ecstatic to see them, and maybe now i won't completely suffocate and drown without his ever-present, evident adoration. and all of this is very odd because there are so many sad things today.
late-term abortion. a momma 20 weeks (aka very visibly) pregnant with precious twin girls, who simply didn't want any more girls (she has enough). and through countless offers to adopt her little ones, she still admitted she had no compassion for them, and went through with it. i pray that You will hold them (all of them). nurture them, care for them, love them and wait for them. and for her heart. save her.
my bff's faith crises. she believed, until she felt hurt, alone, and uncared for. she volunteered and she cared until she realized no one cared for her. and now her own mind is her god, and "the universe" and a small ceramic buddha will give positive energy back to her. she asked if i'll try to convert her back; i said of course. if i've ever loved her at all (i do), i will talk and explain and care and pray. she asked if i think she's going to hell; i said i hope not. save her.
back to mothering. one of the reasons we are meant to do it is so that we can know You better. i never understood sacrifice like i do now. i can almost daily watch my body deteriorate as i give life to these new bodies. they mature and grow more beautiful as i decay. sounds a little dramatic, but i don't know how else to say it. what an amazing cycle.
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