new arrival

my little girl was born today. what a crazy experience to bring a new person into the world! more on that later. she can't sleep unless i'm holding her hand or touching her, and i'm okay with that. i waited for her for a long time. also there is the obvious fact that she never has slept without touching me. wouldn't it be crazy to get used to sleeping alone after spending your whole life sleeping inside someone?

poor atticus might be in for a rough time. at first i thought he'd be okay. he's been okay with us holding other babies for a few months now. when my mother-in-law brought him home at noon today, david went outside to meet him and hold him. then he brought him into our room where olive was laying on the bed next to me. i made a point to be excited just to see him - not only for him to see the new baby. he patted my tummy and said "mommy's tummy? baby?" he remembered all our talks about it! he was happy to see her and gave her a kiss. but later in the day, he saw her nursing and got angry. since then he's been saying "all done, baby" and "put down? hold you?" he's had a long couple of days and missed out on 4 hours of sleep last night, so hopefully tomorrow will be better.

anyway. i can't believe it's over. and that i went through that today. and that maybe i'll never be pregnant again, never have a new baby again. and that our lives changed so much today. so relieved and happy.